VintagEuro #015
I’ve Got a Guy for That
Owning and maintaining older European vehicles isn’t without its challenges. Depending on what you drive, there’s the will-it-or-won’t-it factor of a hot restart after a short drive, or the angst of simply finding tires in the proper size. I’ve become pretty hardened to unexpected setbacks over the years, and if nothing else, they’ve made me a more confident do-it-yourselfer in the process.
But one of the most difficult obstacles I’ve yet to overcome is finding a reliable shop to do the work I can’t do. I was recently reminded of this after getting my 24-year-old car back from its annual safety and emissions inspection. Clearly, I can’t authorize my own state inspection, so I booked a slot with a local independent that shop I’d used once before.
But after the latest visit, I won’t be returning. Good help, it turns out, is very hard to find.
I thought I’d found the right shop when discovered it a couple years back. The owner is a former Porsche dealer technician and he always has a good assortment of late-model to near-classic European vehicles in the bays. He wasn’t terribly polished in the communications department, but he was obviously steeped in the brand, and shared details of his personal 914 project that was sitting nearby. Seemed like a good guy, so I gave him a try.
He passed the first test - he was enthusiastic about his work. He was willing to simply talk about cars casually, and he spoke with authority on the particular quirks of my first-generation Boxster. Many of the cars I’ve owned have garnered a certain disdain from most small shops, even so-called specialists.
He also passed the second test. He wasn’t bothered by the fact I’d recently done some general maintenance on my own. This information is often met with anything from skepticism, to moral outrage. How dare I work on my own car? As if I need a professional to replace my brakes or change my oil. Or in this case, an air/oil separator valve.
Finally, he passed my third test - he treated me respectfully when I told him, in thorough detail , about some issues I’d been experiencing. This is the most difficult one for me as a former service department manager. I’ve literally been on the other side of the desk, serving as the intermediary between demanding owners and a crew of technicians. I know the language, I know the process, and I know bullshit when I hear it. Simply put, I don’t give my business to any shop that condescends.
It can be damn near impossible just to find someone with the knowledge and experience to work on certain vehicles. That’s a baseline, but is it really enough? It’s not for me. I need a more personal relationship with whoever works on my cars. And every time I worry I might be overthinking that aspect, I seem to get a reminder that suggests I’m right.
In the case of my most recent visit with the Boxster, I felt I was oversold some services that I knew I needed to do, but that weren’t actually inspection failures. I agreed reluctantly to let him proceed. They were common issues on the car that would need to be addressed at some point , so I gave him the green light. The bill was big and I paid it.
I had to pick up the car after hours because he locks up promptly at 5 o’clock, about an hour earlier than I could make it. He left the key sitting on the tire, and thankfully the and the car were actually still there when I arrived. Immediately I noticed the recently installed aftermarket radio had been jacked out of its frame to perform the necessary work. In the process, its retaining tabs had broken off and it was now floating loosely in the dash. It was the work of an impatient hack mechanic, not a professional.
If that weren’t enough, my windshield washer fluid was empty. Even Jiffy Lube tops the tank blue juice when you come for an oil change. But when I added fluid myself the following day, it pissed straight onto the ground the first time I tried to clean the windshield. The tank either has a leak or the hose has become disconnected at the pump. Certainly either of these would have been found during a thorough inspection.
I lost all confidence in this shop with that last discovery and am on the hunt again for another place to service my cars. It’s not the first time I’ve been here, though. It’s simply part of the challenge of owning older, more obscure cars. In the meantime, I’ll go back to performing whatever needs fixing, including apparently finding the source of my washer fluid leak. I still have another 12 months until my next inspection is due.
Goods & Gear
Porsche Classic Screwdriver Set
If you’re going to do your own work on your classic vehicle, why not do it with vintage tools? This 5-piece screwdriver set from Porsche Classic is based on those found in the factory toolkit from the mid ‘60s through the early ’70s. Made in Germany, they include a steel storage container with a red hammer-tone finish, lending a nostalgic charm to your tool chest.
Whether or not you actually use them is up to you. But whatever you do, make sure they’re not in the car when you take it to your preferred classic car mechanic, unless you really want to test their mettle. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t take my chances.with these.
Available through Porsche dealerships or at Porsche.com
Classics & Cocktails
Monkey Wrench
A twist on the tried and true Screwdriver cocktail, the Monkey Wrench trades vodka for rum and substitutes the orange juice for grapefruit. A splash of orange liqueur offsets the fruit juice’s signature bitterness without making the drink too sweet.
Fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice is best, but if you must use something from a bottle (as I did) make sure it’s unsweetened or no sugar added. The result is something that, with a bit more decoration on the glass, might seem at home in a tiki lounge. It’s dressed-down appearance, however, is actually more at home in a brunch setting. It’s dead simple to make if not much to look at.
Ingredients
2 ounces blonde rum
4-6 ounces grapefruit juice
1/2 ounce orange liqueur
Preparartion
Fill a tall Collins glass with ice cubes
Add rum and orange liqueur to glass
Fill glass with grapefruit juice and stir
I’m very grateful that I have a Land Rover mechanic that I trust both with his ability and his desire to keep costs down. Of course, that raises the question of whether he feels the same way about me!